We all see homelessness, addiction, mental health issues, and general divisiveness surging in our communities, and I’m sure that everyone at some point has pondered the cure.
What if there was one prime issue and each one of us holds the key?
“A person is a person through other persons; you can’t be human in isolation; you are human only in relationships.”
Dr Stephen Braren wrote in an article called “The Evolution of Social Connection as a basic Human need” States that our need for social connection is so important that humans have evolved an alarm to let us know when we need more social connection: it’s called loneliness.
Hunger is the signal that our body needs food; thirst is the signal that our body needs water. Just like loneliness is the human brain’s alarm for more connection.
Many of us have multiple social connections so when one is lost there is another to lean on. You lose your job, your house, your marriage, or a loved one, and you lean on family, friends, religion or a community to provide support.
But what happens when connections are limited to start with? At birth we are connected to our mothers, our fathers, our siblings or wider family. What happens when at a young age we become unconnected? A key member dies, leaves or is addicted. Many of us were raised with cultural, religious or community support, but what happens when you were never exposed to these backup sources for connection?
Law 1: To be human we need connection.
Law 2: Only you decide on who those connections will be.
When a human is marginalized, they become unconnected, therefore they naturally seek it anywhere from anyone they can. Drugs, crime, smoking, prostitution, cults, extreme politics and gangs all offer a connection in the absence of the norm.
But what if the dominant force isn’t the magnetism that pulls individuals together but a mainstream society that pushes them away? Marginalizing a particular group pushes them to connect away from “mainstream” society.
Society doesn’t get to define connection, or community. All we can do is offer something better.
Imagine for a moment that you are addicted or unhoused. You haven’t had a solid meal in a day, you can’t sleep well, you haven’t showered or had clean clothes in weeks. Everything you own is in the shopping cart you’re pushing around so nobody will steal all you have.
Now remember the last time you came face to face with an unhoused person; what did you say to them, what were your reactions or your thoughts? It’s okay, it is human reaction to have fear, not engage, and protect yourself from something different. What if you said hello, good morning or asked them if they are doing okay? You would do something to humanize them, to connect them ever so slightly to society. You’ve provided a slight amount of hope for a different life, and how much did it cost you?
By not humanizing the most at-risk members of our society, we push the individual further from the mainstream connected community.
The unhoused or the highly addicted community represent the more extreme cases of disconnection; however, there is a full spectrum of unconnected people making their way through life. This includes the elderly, New Canadians, the Anarchist or those just socially awkward. Imagine if we helped them make social connections.
That is what the community of London Ontario needs to do for its residents: create ways to connect. Our strength as individual relies on our strength of connections within the London Community.
We have enough solutions that are based on our tax dollars; we can all try a solution that is free!
Don’t see giving out clothing, food, tents or medical treatment as enabling. See it as making a connection that opens a path to joining our community.